When we think of “dad” in the classic sense of the definition, How many of us imagine a tired old grumpy guy who is always over worked and underpaid. He usually gets home in the evening, dirty and tired. He walks Through the door, throws his lunchbox down on the table and flops down on the worn sofa chair with a low sounding but sharpish groan. Sensing that no one has affirmed his arrival he calls out in a rusty voice, “ I”m home!” In this scenario the “dad” has a wife who takes care of the three children, maintains the house, and always has meals ready at the proper times. Even if this isn’t how you might see “dad”, usually its something like this. After all, isn’t this how its supposed to be?
Is it a bad thing that I’m not a grumpy guy who comes home to a “Leave It To Beaver” house? Maybe. Maybe not. I’m not bagging on guys who have that life style. More power to them. In fact, if it weren't for these guys we wouldn't be here commenting on the “Mr. Dad” phenomenon. For me its been a slow transition to be a house husband. It has taken a lot of time, baby steps and training for me to adjust to being home. The fact that you never have to punch a time card is a little weird at first. I have had to learn that there isn't a time card as there isn’t a time off. The nice thing about coming home from work is that you don't have to take work home. That's a subject all on it own.
After all this time I am still learning how to adjust to my job. I have had to learn how to respond to my wife differently as she has me. There is a new sort of ebb and flow that must be respected if you are going to make this thing work. One has to respect the new pressure of bringing home the bacon of which the wife now has. I have to make sure that I am pulling my weight and keeping things running at home. So there is plenty of pressure to go around.
The interesting thing to appreciate about this transition is that everyone in the house has had to change as well. My wife and children have had to adjust to me playing a different role. Mother is now the overworked and under appreciated person. The children now have to relearn who knows what, and where to go for certain resources. These things alone caused me much guilt and anxiety. As a husband and father I feel it is my duty to bring stability and peace into the home. This change causes a few waves that can capsize how things are done in the family. My experience is that things get easier as the family settles into the new situation. It does take some time. My children are now used to the routine and schedule that I give them. My wife has been able to build a good career and I do wish her much success.
From time to time I do feel as if I need to get out there and be the primary bread winner. It’s a wonderful thing to provide security and stability to your family. Funny how life changes what you think, to the reality that is. Right now my role is caring for my children. The best way to provide for my family is by being there for them at any time. Its really fun helping out with home work and discussing issues that arise with school or friends. I find it pretty cool that I can provide for my family in this way. We all have unique situations. Its about being creative in how you provide for you family.
-Brother Jared
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